Rock-a-bye

Our sweet Sadie girl has been sick for nearly a week. I've been running on a combo of Plexus and a prayer! The dr said it was just a virus and that we just needed to let it run it's course. Most of the time, the course doesn't last so long, so it's been really hard on her. I'm so ready for that sparkle to come back in her eyes.

On a good note, we are just waiting to be assigned a case writer. This will be the person who will cover our homestudy. Praise the Lord that the reason it is taking so long to get assigned is that there are a lot of families becoming certified right now. In turn, this gives my kids extra time with their beloved trampoline. That's going to be one sad day for them (and for mama)! I've been so proud of how they've understood the rule against trampolines while fostering. They didn't at first, but they've come around. When we started the foster care route, it seemed like such a personal decision- between Tim and I, but I have quickly realized that all five of us are being stretched and refined through this journey and we don't even have a baby yet.

I've found myself thinking about her a lot lately. Sadie has been wanting to be rocked a lot this past week, since she's felt so bad, and the rocker is in the baby's room. I love how the arms and seat are worn down. So many memories. The rocker was a baby gift to my parents, from my Grandmother and Grandpa. My mom rocked my sister and I...My Aunt Carla rocked my two cousins...and I have rocked all three of mine.

It's hard not to picture our daughter in the nursery, and all the babies who could find themselves in our home, for a time. I think that's the thing that I can't get over just yet...That we will very likely not know how long a baby will be with us. You have to be all in. I know me and I know that won't be my stumbling block. I think that's where trusting them to the Lord and dedicating them at our doorstep, will be the best thing we ever do.

So, I think we're ready. Sadie keeps saying that it feels like Christmas and sometimes I feel the same. It really is very possible for the kids to go to sleep one night and wake up the next morning with a sister. It's such a weird feeling of being anxious for different reasons. For being excited to get her here and deeply saddened and scared for what she will go through to get into the system to be brought to us.

Thank you to every one who asks about how things are going. We're so close!

Almost there

So far, today has been the hardest in our journey to become foster care certified. Up until now, everything required has been about Tim and I. From the mounds of paperwork and hours and hours worth of training, to getting our home all ready for baby...it's all been adult stuff. We've never had to ask anything of our children. I have held off on this one thing for as long as we could- the kids' dreaded TB test...And, to make matters worse, I took them all by myself, like a moron. What in the world was I thinking? It was slightly less than a nightmare. I lied to the kids and told them that it was for school because a lie in this situation seemed to make more sense, or at least it did in the moment. When we left, all four of us were crying. Afterwards, we met Tim for lunch because Mexican food fixes everything (it's true). Tim is so wonderful with the kids. He explains things so simply to them. He told them the truth (guess he's the honest one out of the two of us) and you know what, they listened and their little hearts heard him. A little shot is the very least we can do to be able to open up our home to a baby sister. We spoke about where she may be coming from and the sacrifices we need to make to be able to offer our family to her. Though he was explaining it on their level, it was totally hitting my heart. Being obedient to God's call for your family isn't easy, but I trust the minute we open the door to our forever daughter, or our for a time daughter, all the hoops and stuff will make sense. I know it will. We really are now just waiting to have our homestudy scheduled and then we'll be official! I can hardly believe we're almost there!

Off the chain

Yesterday was one of those off the chain parenting days, where you question everything, desperately need to turn on a movie, but realize you took away all media- dang the rules!- and then stare at the clock until it's a reasonable time to have a glass of wine- 5:01pm, but in my case, whenever I hear the sound of the garage door opening.

Tim's home. My rock. My helper. (I love you!)

Just when I thought everyone was all cozy in their beds and I could settle down for a nice dose of YouTube's "Best Fails"...(treadmill fails really turn it around for me) someone...who will remain nameless, had a little mishap with an outlet. Awesomeness. Guess outlet covers really are absolutely and completely still necessary.

Did I mention we're about to have four kids?

Some days I feel like I can barely catch my breath, putting out fires left and right (metaphorically, of course), but without fail, God follows my craziest days with a deep understanding of what His Word says and how it applies to every aspect of parenting.

Jesus Calling, for today, reads:

"TRUST ME in the depths of your being. It is there that I live in constant communion with you. When you feel flustered and frazzled on the outside, do not get upset with yourself. You are only human, and the swirl of events going on all around you will sometimes feel overwhelming. Rather than scolding yourself for your humanness, remind yourself that I Am both with you and within you.

I Am with you at all times, encouraging and supportive rather than condemning. I know that deep within you, where I live, My Peace is your continual experience. Slow down your pace of living for a time. Quiet your mind in My Presence. Then you will be able to hear Me bestowing the resurrection blessing: Peace be with you.

Beautiful description, right?



Happy Thursday (that's like Friday)! Yay!!!