Sometimes being g-free hurts

My heart broke a little a minute ago...

We were having a tea party, the four of us, and Holden said, "Mommy, is it ok if we pretend we're having gluten?"

Tear.

In my heart, I know that my boys shouldn't ever eat gluten again. I don't care what Holden or Fount's blood tests said at the time. Mommy sees their poop, their tummy aches, the vomiting, the blisters, the swelling. Gluten destroys their insides. I believe, in my heart, that they have celiac disease. By the time they were tested, they were on few amounts of gluten. All I know is that, when we stopped all of Holden's gluten intake, without him knowing, all of his problems stopped completely. Of course, Fount's is the most severe of the two, since we carry an epi-pen for him. Tim and I have still yet to convert completely. We still eat bread and regular cereal/oatmeal, but every dinner and most every lunch is g-free for us. Sadie is on a mostly gluten-free diet and I'm in the middle of clearing out my flour. Now that the boys are gluten-free, I view gluten...flour...wheat...as a contaminate for my family. I'm hyper-sensitive to it being in my kitchen. I've since labeled everything g-free and gluten and rearranged all my shelves so that gluten lies low. It's crazy what a single crumb can do to sweet Fount.

I keep saying that I need to get tested for Celiac. I need to do that.